Monday, March 9, 2009
At first she was just another face in the crowd ... just another nobody passing aimlessly by, until that day when my eyes laid upon her beautiful face , I was captured.
It was not the way she introduced herself or the way she was dressed, but the look in her eyes that captured my heart and am sure it did the same to HER. I felt it with every beat of my heart. Little did I know how right I was. Liked her so much for her thoughts, her anger, her taste of colours, her eye talk to express her inner liking for me, would wait for hours to have a glimpse of her.
To sit with her and feel her from close and the smell of her that filled the air near me, used to make me so delighted and beyond words to express.It was like someone I knew for AGES.That was a wonderful relationship.
But always there is a villain who is in between such relationships and surely that did have a subconscious effect on HER to look away from me. We had to come to a point called QUITS.
I think it was just for the outer world but surely it remained fixed DEEP INSIDE though we were living far apart. As time went on and knew she will not be there for ME I learnt it the hard way without her after a lot of turmoil to understand, physically I had to go on with LIFE. But mentally still held on to her very BEING with me. Nature had its own element of magic to this PARADOX.
Though I did try talking to her many times in between, she did shut me out and I never knew why despite my attempts many times. Surely wanted her to know what was in me before I depart forever and also know her true feelings which were subdued then. The time never came but I was determined. It was destined to happen but 20years later.
Now I am sure she knows all my thoughts that were present in me but not wholly known then, and all what I knew of her were her thoughts rooted deep inside and all what I did want in her then have surely shown up and the essence remains intact. Like things which I love to do – be it talk, sing, cook, dance, laugh, walk in the rain, box, fight, tease, to pet, to pamper, even the force of our passion, the being in her all are of the same receptive force of what I love and they synchronize so well with ME and my soul. She did fill cracks in my soul and I was convinced that she really was something special.
I surely knew then & know now too, that she wasn’t destined this time, but still love her so much. Will want a Life with her. She Means a World to Me. Wish a time comes I would love being lost in her and she in me. I Mean it. Will treasure her forever.