TOWARDS HAPPINESS

The most elusive state of mind for many is HAPPINESS. To attain this state there are many simple things we can do to enjoy more happiness and contentment. It is not only bringing happiness into our lives but to those we love too. Happiness is capable of building ones mental strength, self esteem and confidence.

Personal mental health comes from good. Evil leads to sickness of the mind. Happiness is only possible for you if you choose to be a good person. Helping others brings immense benefits and satisfaction, therefore happiness.

To increase your personal mental health, laugh and smile as much as you can. Never take yourself or life so seriously. Do things you love as often as possible. Realize even if you fail it is never the end of the world. Walk or exercise whenever you can. Focus on your successes and believe in yourself. Be honest to others and to yourself. Never bottle up negative thoughts or depressive feelings. Sometimes it feels so good to just express what we think without bothering about niceties.

I think we are meant to be happy and always make happiness an aim, despite the obvious let-downs and challenges. We can all make that choice. You can choose to be happy or sad and whichever you choose that is what you get. You need to make a conscious effort and overcome negative feelings and develop gratitude and forgiveness.

Always look at life with a positive frame of mind and optimism is a good defense against unhappiness. If you can change a statement which is negatively implied to your advantage in a positive manner without hurting others you are on the course to happiness.
Happy people manage to look on the bright side, even if they encounter big problems on their way. Others might live in darkness all year for no apparent reason.

Someone said “Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so.....’Love the people who treat you right. .............Pray for the ones who don't - that they see the wisdom of their foolish ways' Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it! Happiness is a Voyage, not a destination- There is no better time to be happy than…….Now! Live and enjoy the moment”
So be positive, caring and love others and you will find happiness!

DAUGHTER

I remember the day when my Wife was admitted for her first delivery to the Hospital on her doctor’s advice in Chennai 12years ago. She did not get her labor pains and she had to be induced. I was at Jaipur where I worked and was eager of the Baby we were to have. I had taken my wife with me to Chennai after celebrating her Birthday in March when she was in her 8th Month of pregnancy.

Time wasn’t moving for me and I was in deep thoughts of my dear wife going through her ordeal. I did pray from inside, for my BEING to be by her side to give her the needed strength.

The phone was ringing and I was shaken out of my thoughts and I was told by my Father, We had a daughter and both my Wife and daughter were doing fine. I thanked GOD for his kind hand on me.

I was in Chennai the 3rd day after the birth of OUR bundle of Joy. I was by the side of my Wife & Daughter. When I met my Wife, our eyes spoke wishing each other of the pleasantries and each others well being.

I picked up my little daughter who was small but pink with twinkling eyes, held her close to my Heart with all the LOVE a proud Dad can have, with my Wife smiling looking at the expression on my Face. My daughter was now the “Apple of My Eye”. I could feel the softness of the baby which sent waves of Happiness into me.

We named her MANASA which meant conceived in the mind. She grew as any other child would with all our affection as she was the first grandchild to both, my parents and my in-laws.

The keenness to watch her playing, eating, sleeping, giving her a bath, laughing, everything was with utmost LOVE. Never a moment were we left with dullness with her by our side. Sure every parent would have gone through this, but to experience it, was BLISS.

During each visit to the scan centre we would be asked by our doctor if we wanted to know the sex of the child and we would reply in unison “NO”. We always told the doctor that we were prepared for either a daughter or a son and wanted the suspense to remain till the delivery. The scan was important just to determine the health of the foetus.

She grew and everyday was fun with her to see the world through her eyes, every word she spoke, every action of hers would make us feel out of the World, never a moment like some parents who think we have a DAUGHTER and not a son. She would help her mother in the kitchen, would take us to play with her, share her secrets with her mother, pamper me when I return from work with a warm tea, soft words, and an update of all the happenings at school and loads of laughter.

I am enjoying every moment with her, teaching her on the values life, learning some from her some of the aspects which we fail to see, the relationship being so unique to grow along, making me feel younger, making the BOND stronger.

So Guys, Bachelors, Couples, to be married, just married, never ever feel its a Daughter and only a son is worth. A daughter can be more than a son in all aspects.

Also never ever abort just because it is a Girl OR never abort a foetus once formed unless it is deformed or if it will suffer from birth. To abort would be close to MURDER. Imagine you will be taking away someone’s life for no fault of theirs.

“A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.”

VALUES OF LIFE

Madness prevails in every sphere of LIFE. We live in a Crazy mad world. Some are mad for money, some for fame, some are mad for Power & Prestige, some are mad for authority, some for material values, Love does cause madness as hate does or excessive pride does. A fortunate few are mad for the Love of GOD.

There is just a thread that separates the clinically mad from the mad for the above reasons. The former has no control over his/her mind and the latter has chosen his/her course with the greatest deliberation.

We all sometimes forget the importance of living? Real Living! Where we can enjoy each moments of our life and take the good and the bad in its own stride. Sometimes we are all into trivial matters and petty thinking and driven by insatiable greed? We are whizzing past life in hurried pursuits! And we have in the process, lost out in the holistic meaning of life!! In the pursuit of the unattainable, driven by a materialistic attitude we loose out in the meaning of real living and do not enjoy and cherish what we have with in our grasp we even take pride in WEALTH.

To aspire is not bad but to drive those aspirations to take the form of greed is certainly detrimental, to be more precise it is not conducive to mental health and joyous living. Greed brings in too much of strife in our life and is the cause of many ills we face today. It makes us into mechanized and driven humans running after goals without any COMPASSION IN OUR HEARTS.

We see people having enough money or perhaps more than they require for their next two or three generations and yet they do not stop at that. They keep on going, acquiring more with a single-minded dedication of having more. They are so busy and preoccupied, that they can't enjoy the luxuries of their home. The pleasures of having home-made food, they do not know what flowers are blooming in their garden; they cannot experience their child's first smile, the first word he uttered or how he took his first step. These are simple source of pleasures of life, which gives immense joy but such joys are to be experienced to be felt. Seeing a bird perched on a branch, giving a love call to it's mate, or just throwing pebbles in a still lake and seeing the waves created in rings spreading out and disappearing… into the stillness of the lake. These are the simple joys of living which we miss out on in the hectic busy city life, where we are busy by our acquisitive desires rather than needs. But what is life really all about? Isn't it living out our minutes and seconds everyday, day after day? Retrospect and you will see it is just that. So why not make the most of it, never forgetting to cherish and enjoy what we have with in our reach and at the same time thriving to make it better in our today and with in our means and for our SOUL.

So, today, do give yourself few quiet moments to think about what are the things that you feel passionate about. Every one of us has been gifted with at least one passion. It is only a matter of listening to your heart, make an effort and take small steps in pursuing it and you will find yourself humming and singing along the journey of life.

Feelings of Your Inner self

Feelings are very fragile and are difficult to deal with at times. Sometimes the toughest thing about feelings is sharing them with others. You certainly can share it with those you care for and with those who care for you.

Feelings sometimes are in such a way that they aren’t clear to your own self, so first you may have to figure out what is inside you.

To understand this better you can think of it in your mind, you can write it in a piece of paper, or by drawing pictures of it. You will have to realize if it’s bothering you or it makes you sad or angry, also need to understand if this is often or once in a while.

The way a person feels inside is important. It can be really hard not to tell anyone that you're feeling sad, worried, or upset. If you keep feelings locked inside, it can even make you feel sick or depressed.
But if you talk with someone who cares for you, like your mom or dad, Spouse or closest friend you will almost always start to feel better. Now you're not all alone with your problems or worries. It doesn't mean your problems and worries disappear magically, but at least someone else knows what's bothering you and can help you find solutions.

Your feeling could be Joy, anger, sadness, hurt deep inside, separation, missing someone DEAR, feeling Loved, feeling unloved, feeling restless…………and so on. But for everything you have reasons and solutions within yourself.

Between a husband and wife FEELINGS are to be mutually taken care of by both the partners. There needs to be an understanding of each others feeling and respect for feelings mutually. In our Indian society the dominance of a male is much higher and the MALE feelings are taken care of by the WIFE. But nevertheless the WIFE’s FEELINGS is NEVER taken care of in this respect. If the MALE is sick the wife ensures that all HIS Needs are taken care of, but if the WIFE is sick she needs to take care of herself on her own. Even the menial jobs of the kitchen if shared at home without the feeling that it’s a WOMANS domain will add more to a better relationship and can Strike a CHORD in HER HEART. The EGO between partners needs to diminish to take the other persons view and the need to come to a common plane arises.

There always remains a load of emotions where feelings are involved. One needs to be sensitive when handling or dealing with such situations. Remember that there are things about yourself you can't change. You should accept and love these things — such as your face, skin color, hair, shape and shoe size — because they are part of you.

If you cannot help someone to get better of their ILL FEELINGS never look down or laugh at them. “They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.”

When you hear negative comments in your head, tell yourself to stop. When you do this, you take the power away from the voice inside that discourages you and it stabilizes your FEELINGS.

At times some people try and avoid FEELINGS because they imagine that their FEELINGS would cause something bad to happen. But the paradox is the FEELING that they are avoiding is exactly what their BODY and MIND wants to Feel. When you give into it you would find YOUR whole being relax and move on and they certainly would lead you to the gates of Growth and development. Don't fight it, just accept it. Just like the air that you breathe.

Delights of LIFE

Life always has Ups and Downs. But never a Dull moment despite the LOWS I have faced. Looking back at all that life gave I am sure the UPS are much greater than the DOWNS. I have had a good childhood many things to learn, have had good parenting on the values of life, my genes have given a wonderful face, great physique, youthful energy, relatives who shower affection, education to understand LIFE, Lot of Travel to make one WISE, STRENGTH to WITHSTAND STROMS, An UNDERSTANDING WIFE, DOTING & BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER( Making us a BEAUTIFUL FAMILY), the Power to think and manage problems, No Vices to REGRET, to ENJOY comforts when the mind desires, never a time to feel Discontentment, Peace at HEART, Sleep without any disturbance, Carried Safely by the CREATOR with a DIVINE BLESSING when the need arises, to enjoy the Rain, the View of the Sea, to cook for those I Love, Freshness In the midst of Hills, the Morning Mist,to feel the Same Love of an Old Girlfriend, the View of Mustard Flowered field, the determination to WIN. What MORE does one need to Live Life.
I firmly believe it is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere other than YOU. So go out enjoy LIFE count on all the Good things you have and you will see lot of DELIGHTS you can BASK on than to sit in a dull corner and have regrets about.

The Mashoor Punjabi Store

It was the beginning of summer and the heat was already on and the mercury was reading 39degrees. I observed a Woman of 25+ glamorously dressed with a bright red lipstick making her purchase of provisions and gently moving her trolley basket with a 3 year old inside the basket at the City’s best departmental store. When the section for chocolates came the kid inside the basket asked for some and the mother curtly told the kid “NO”, the kid was crying loudly and making a fuss. The young mother said quietly “now Pinky we just have half the store to complete don’t be upset we will soon be out”.

Soon they came to the racks where the stocks of biscuit were stacked and the girl began to shout for biscuits. Again the mother refused and the child began to whine. I almost pulled out a pack to handover to the kid, but then was apprehensive looking at the woman’s tough appearance. The mother said there........there we are approaching the counter Pinky and we will soon be out.

She quickly made her buys and they got to the billing counter and the girl at the counter took out all that the woman bought for billing. The kid inside the basket now looked at the bubble gum on the counter and tried to pull some, but the woman pulled the trolley with the kid backwards and alas the kid made a terrible tantrum on the mother refusing. The mother patiently said “Pinky we will leave in 5 minutes, we can be home and have a nice nap- cheer up”.

She soon stepped out and I followed her to the parking and stopped to compliment her “how patient you were with LITTLE PINKY …….” I hadn’t completed, she cut me short with a sharp look to tell me................ “I’m Pinky and my daughters name is RUCHI”.

Problems.........

Any human born in this world is sure to come across this phenomenon known as PROBLEM. This is to be a passing phase, never is it a constant. Every individual will have to face it and it only varies in proportion from each one. It never comes looking at caste, creed or status. Never be pushed by your problems, look at the problem in its eye and tell yourself that “I am stronger than the Problem”.

When you feel the problem is bigger it hides the solution and you sit back with a worry how to overcome it. If C.B Sullenberger Pilot of U.S.Airways flight 1549 had considered the bird hit on his Aircraft a problem he could never have landed the plane on HUDSON and saved all the 155passengers & crew. There is a genius in every human that should never allow you to runaway from the problem. One needs to understand the problem, bring out the strength with determination and put in the hard work needed to counter it. Problems mostly are never solved it can only be well managed. A child cries out of hunger and when fed with milk you manage it but it is sure to prop up again. A person growing old will feel fatigue, pain in his body and the same can never be ended, it can only be managed. Similarly when you focus too much on a problem or give too much of attention the problem gains momentum, your anxiety adds negative energy to it. When one is ill attaching too much of importance to it, it tends to increase in proportion. When you want to forget something, by trying HARD to forget, you tend to get reminded more.

Over a period of time one needs to learn how to live with problems. Any person born with any kind of deformity learns over a period of time to overcome it and never gives in to it and goes on with life in its stream. So the process of learning this technique in facing problems is important to every individual.

We are blessed with intelligence better than any living being on earth, so we need to use the same to the best possible limits. We need the ability to deal with problems better and not to sulk in it. The important thing about a problem is not its solution, but the strength we gain in finding the solution. You also need to have HOPE; this flame of hope should never go out of your life.

“He who does not hope to win has already lost” -- Jose Joaquin Olmedo